Yesterday, my newly minted 4 year old was exhausted. It was the end of a weekend full of birthday fun, visiting family and not going to bed on time. And I knew what was coming – an earthquake of little kid feels. The signs were all there: being overstimulated, not going to bed on time for two nights, having his daily schedule out of whack, eating too much sugar, and playing in the hot sun with friends for hours. The quake was imminent. That much I knew. What I didn’t know was what would trigger it.

Around 7:00pm, it hit. The tremors started with a late Amazon delivery. My son decided that he didn’t like whatever gift was inside; so much so, that he opened the door and ran down the driveway screaming.

What did I do? I ran after him. And berated myself the whole way: why didn’t I give him more breaks this weekend? Why didn’t I make sure he had more balanced meals? Why didn’t I set a hard limit on bedtime, like usual? Why did I expect his little body to be able to handle all that stress? Why am I a bad mom?

That last thought stopped me. My run slowed to a walk (my son was safe just a few yards down the sidewalk from me) and I realized that I had reached my limit, too. If my negative thoughts were that close by, then I was definitely running on empty.

In a moment where I could have kept beating myself up, through the grace of God (brought to you by adoration and the Eucharist earlier that day), I took a deep breath, and sat on the sidewalk.

I imagined the gentleness that Jesus used when approaching the woman at the well – he didn’t lecture her or force her to do anything. He was present, He was gentle, He was patient, He was approachable.

And even though I was totally wiped, I continued to sit and breathe. I imagined Jesus beside me, filling me with what I was lacking. Then I was able to say things like, “I see you’re really angry. You’re really tired. I see you. I’m here.” (I had to sort of yell it because he wasn’t close to me, prompting my neighbor to step out to see what the crazy lady was up to now. It’s fine.)

Only by God’s grace can we have the patience to withstand earthquake level tantrums. Tantrums often trigger a huge stress response in us, sometimes even a fight or flight response. Sitting and breathing through it seems counterintuitive. But if anyone can model and guide us through it, it’s the man who calmed the stormy seas Himself.

And yeah, I looked like a loon for a few minutes, but being a calm presence to my son in his time of need, allowed him to feel safe enough to work through his big feeling. And eventually, we were able to stand up and walk back home.

I won’t be able to do this every time the tantrums happen – I will and have messed up. But God is faithful, and He will be with me then, too.