This is not a how-to-cope post, because let’s be real, you’ve been getting “how to cope” tips from EVERYONE. I even got one from my Nissan dealer yesterday. (Yes, car dealership, please give me tips for meditating and art projects.)

I feel fairly confident that if you’ve watched TV, read emails or browsed social media anytime in the last 5 weeks, you’ve come across at least a few guides on self-care during the pandemic. And I’m not going to add to that – it would just be repetitive noise.

But what I will say is this: You can know all the self-care tips in the world, but if you’re not motivated to care for yourself, they won’t help you.

If you find yourself feeling sad, hopeless or lonely right now, you’re not alone. A lot of us are, and with good reason, too. While these feelings are totally expected and normal, they don’t really motivate us to be mindful, eat healthy, learn a new skill, call someone, or any of the numerous (and useful) ways of caring for your mental health.

So what do you do?

You have to confront your emotional state. {Psychobabble alert! See below for the Psychobabble key.}

Sometimes when we are overwhelmed by current events, all of the ensuing emotions get stuck because we shut down or ignore them. Ignoring feelings can be a useful psychological protection in the short-term, but we have to confront them eventually.

—> Now if you feel clinically depressed, have a history of unresolved trauma, and/or so overwhelmed by your feelings that you can’t perform daily tasks, such as eating or bathing or working, then you need to call a therapist and set up video-counseling. If you have insurance, call the benefits line and ask them to help you find one in your area. If you don’t have mental health insurance, go to PsychologyToday.com and use their “Find a Therapist” tool. And if you feel like you’re going to hurt yourself or others, call 911 or 1-800-273-8255 (suicide hotline) or 1-800-662-HELP (national mental health referral helpline). <—

So how do we confront our feelings? We need to talk about how we’re feeling either to a trusted friend, family member or therapist (or all 3!). Writing can also be effective. More often than not, once we put words to how we’re feeling, a weight is lifted and we find that we’re more motivated to choose healthy self-care. It’s really that simple, though it can be hard to do. It’s hard to be vulnerable. It can take a lot of energy to process big feelings. But that’s what our friends and family are for – to help us navigate hard times.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to be a self-care guru all the time. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and then maybe you’ll find the motivation you need to cope effectively.

Need help finding a counselor? Check out this page.

Resources:

American Psychological Association

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA)

Suicide Prevention Lifeline